Friday: board game night
It was a simple and easy evening with friends. We took a group trip to Target to buy Cards Against Humanity. I couldn’t stop making jokes and laughing, especially playing off kindred spirit Freddy.
Saturday: Christmas events
December 1st so of course we were allowed to do all things Christmas. We started by getting hot chocolate and cookies on the beach at Crystal Cove while watching their mediocre tree lighting. The tree is on the beach but the size of a regular tree. Fortunately we didn’t wait 2 hours!
Our second stop was to Belmont Shores’ (Long Beach) Christmas parade with another friend. My favorite “float” was the bus strung with Christmas lights and blasting music. Why don’t they blast music like that all the time?
Sunday daytime: brunch in Long Beach
We were supposed to go to the Huntington Library, but I was exhausted. Instead, we did brunch at Saint & Second. I haven’t had brunch in awhile! I got only my 4th cup of coffee in 2 weeks(!) and chorizo and egg tacos. I ate one taco and had leftovers for two days.
Afterwards, we strolled around 2nd Street. I found a Cheerwine, which made me nostalgic for North Carolina. I didn’t like Cheerwine when I lived there.
I also got a couple of cards, including another PERFECT card. Right before he left, I told him that his fuzz was exfoliating my skin.
Sunday night: drinks and lots of emotions
I did a little shopping before getting the call to meet up with a friend for drinks and comforting. I ended up getting a few drinks as I tried to be there for her and a stranger who joined us and is cynical about the people in California and men.
When I got home, I shook off the empathy. I started listening to some lovey-dovey R&B songs… because thank goodness my (so-called) reality isn’t so bad. I’m fortunate to have someone to trust and who, “takes away my fears.” That’s what I told him.
Side note: Sadly, my someone was also dealing with yet another shitty situation and I’m helpless to help. So I cry because I can’t help. Instead, I stayed up all night with him and said, “I can’t be the paramedic, but I’ll be the person who goes in the ambulance with you.
Monday: 8 mile walk
I didn’t sleep till 5:30am so I took the day off. I slept in till 11:30 and resolved to go for a walk.
Me: “I wish I was there with you last night.”
Him: “Me too. I wish you were here with me right now.”
Me: “We should go on a walk. I’m going to get ready.”
I took a long 3 hour walk. I sped at the beginning, listening to The Chasing Joy podcast. The episode with Chris, the owner of Frank & Whit, had great tidbits. They applied to the stuff I dealt with all night:
- His daughter was lost in Prague at night with 2% battery. He couldn’t do anything – she would have to find someone who spoke English and figure it out herself. Similarly, I can’t be in Colorado and he can’t be in California. Sometimes words aren’t sufficient or no words are needed, just a hug or cuddle. So we have to figure out our own shit, with each other’s support.
- He builds people up, hoping they’ll pass it on and build others up. This reminded me of him. He does this for me and I pass it on. However, he doesn’t receive as much as he’d like and wants to shut down. I shared how important his role is.
The other half of my walk was spent on the phone talking, soothing mostly. I came to realize a few things about myself too:
- I cry when I feel anger from someone I love and I can’t help the situation.
- I feel bad for having good fortune. It seems like my closest people, three of them, continuously have challenges in their lives. My challenges usually get resolved. I seem to envision and manifest the best case scenario. Does it really work?
Question: Do you get meaning from little things in life? I take meaning from getting stuck in a thicket with cacti and I avoided getting hurt. Metaphor for life?