- Practice letting go of my insecurities. I never realized how deep these insecurities ran. When I find confidence in one area (my body), I’ve transferred my insecurities into other parts (relationships). I saw myself looking for affirmation, to know I’m doing things right.
- Show affection. It keeps getting better and better and more natural. I started to trust people to want my affection. I started to yearn for hugs.
- Listen to listen and not to reply. I’m learning how to do this. I listen and rephrase to understand and to show that I’m present, listening, and care. I save my offshoot thoughts, which usually is how I connect with what was said, for later. I may have learned something about myself in the process of listening, but I don’t need to turn it around to make it about me. In the words of Dalai Lama, “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”
- Do less, rest more. I did a lot on my trips, but I also permitted myself to skip out on things. On my second trip this month, we ran out of time pretty much everyday, but we laid at the beach, ate ice cream, or sat by the lake.
- Practice self-care. I’ve continuously gotten my nails done, started sugaring (as necessary), and bought some new clothes (dresses, swimsuits) and shoes. This is an area of self-care that I’ve started to focus on because I feel confident.
- Learn to let go of control and just deal with my feelings. I spent a couple of sleepless nights navigating my feelings. I get engrossed by feelings and emotions. I take it personally even though I know to consider others’ perspectives. People are selfish and much of what they do is for them not to screw with you.
- Learn something new. I’m stuck in a rut. This happens every summer when I feel “no purpose” and I’m done traveling. I consulted with friends on their side gigs/hobbies. While tattooing and teaching piano aren’t my jam and a lot of suggestions weren’t actually enticing, I found ceramics classes and maybe adult beginner’s ice skating (offered by the city).
- Save money. Yeah, this is hard. I like traveling and doing things, but I also thought that one day, I may move. Denver, Seattle, Santa Barbara? It’s very unrealistic because I have a job, friends, and family that depends on me here. However, I’ve been back in CA for 7 years and at my job for 4 years (and I don’t feel the drive right now).
Coming Up in August:
- Back to work. This is my 5th year teaching!
- 33 days until Denver. This photo was from Yosemite, but it was a beautiful view with an even better memory.