Sunday morning before leaving for Temecula, I was searching my closet, drawers, and laundry pile for my swim shorts. I had a slight meltdown. I thought, Maybe no one would actually be in their bathing suits at the BBQ.

Everyone got in the pool and I went in without the swim shorts. I looked around periodically and saw beauty in all the bodies. Our bodies, at 30, are those of women and striving to be that double 00 teenager is ridiculous and impossible (for me at least).

Below: In this edited photo, my cellulite is toned down but then you also can’t see the muscles.

The next day, the picture below popped up from last year, with the same girls, at the pool. THANKS FACEBOOK! And you know what? I look about the same – I can’t tell the difference.

On the wedding day, I put this dress on. I struggled to pin in some padding – I started to overheat because I was so f***ing frustrated. I said F*** IT and went without anything. I’m sure I would’ve been self-conscious all night and the padding would’ve fallen out anyways.

I got a ton of compliments and this photo made me realize that restrictions on food and drinks and putting myself down isn’t the way to go. When we’re happy and having a good time (eating, dancing, laughing, talking to people), we look GORGEOUS.

Shout out to my girls for doing my hair! I need to up my braiding and curling game.